Ingrates in the Garden

Dear Lemon Verbena:

Why are you acting like such an as$hole? Last year I potted you in that new terra cotta pot, in the sunniest spot in the garden. You kind of grew, but nothing to blog about. Then this year I have fertilized the shit out of you AND given you lots of water. Now you put out these miserable little shoots that, quite frankly, don’t do a whole lot for me.

Please advise, Jenn

 

Dear Bean:

I understand it’s tough out there in the garden world. Coming out of your shell, so to speak, can be a rough one. But I’ll kindly ask you to perk up and show a little respect – or you’re compost, pal.

Regards, Jenn

Dear Tree Dahlia:

First off, I want to thank you for your profusion of growth last year. You managed to kill the cerinthe, yarrow and sweet peas that were planted with you. Bravo. And I thought nothing of your massacre since I was assuming it would follow with some amazing blooms – but you know what happens when you ASSuME.

xoxoxJenn

In the Garden

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