Oldie but a Goodie

This was taken from my old blog… gramatical errors in tact.
To be further developed.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Sex and the Garden

I once had a friend that hired guys to dig out all of these big, beautiful, established Echium plants that filled her front yard. Her reason being, as she whispered-”they look too phallic”. ”Of course they do, that’s the point!”, I said, not whispering. Echiums are these amazing, native, flowering shrubs that reseed all over the coast. The flowers look like huge, purple spears that burst up from the foliage of the plant. Some cultivars have smaller flowers, some have larger ones- all interesting and beautiful in a garden. And, yes- completely phallic. I stood there wondering what the hell she was thinking. You’re that bothered by a penis-looking plant to pay someone to dig it out? I have decided, there are two types of people in this world; the kind that embrace the penis-looking plants and the kind that don’t. From that moment on- I knew which one I was.

I can’t help but wonder….when it comes to gardens, are we trying to weed out the sex?
Anyone who has actually spent time in a garden would relate to what I’m saying, gardens are sex! Other than the obvious, like Echium’s penis flowers or the flowering vine ‘Clitoria’ (wonder what that was named after?), there are more discretely sexual plants. Look at a Fig tree in full fruit and tell me that doesn’t look like some good sex to you. But now the latest trend is to take sex out of the garden. Botanists have developed self-pollinating fruit trees, vegetables, and berries. Before this you had to buy a male and a female to produce fruit, now you can just buy one. You can even buy one with multiple grafts and have ten different varieties on one tree…wouldn’t it be better to buy ten trees for some good, old fashion group pollinating?

I drove by my friend’s house on the way home today and slowed to look at her yard. There was nothing except for one, lone Myoporum tree…how depressing. I would much rather a yard full of penises than a sexless garden, but that’s just me.

In the Garden

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